instructions

Most sharks aren't particularly picky about what they eat, but sometimes their limits are rather finite. - Matty Malaprop

CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

And every night of the week if I want, as long as I swing by my local co-op first! #CREYINGANDREGLOBBING5EVA - Matty Malaprop

Your son may not be able to think creatively, but at least you know he can understand basic instructions. - Matty Malaprop

Granted, whoever really loves this pun probably has worse annunciation than 50 Cent, but still. - Matty Malaprop

IS HUMAN SUFFERCAKETION JUST TOO INHUMANE FOR YOU CREEPY FACELESS DAD MAN? - Matty Malaprop

P.S. Anyone know who drew this? Let me know in the comments!

Just make sure they give you an epidooral before the whole process starts and you'll be fine. - Matty Malaprop

Either they printed the wrong label on my box, or I'm really out of shapes... - Matty Malaprop

When inspiration calls, a true artist has no choice but to heed its words. - Matty Malaprop

Wait, it's that easy? THEN HOW HAVE I BEEN SINGLE FOR SO LONG????? - Matty Malaprop

Such inconsequential-yet-poignant acts of civil disobedience never fail to lift my spirits. - Matty Malaprop