instructions

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CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

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Via Homestuck
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IS HUMAN SUFFERCAKETION JUST TOO INHUMANE FOR YOU CREEPY FACELESS DAD MAN? - Matty Malaprop

P.S. Anyone know who drew this? Let me know in the comments!

door childbirth maternity ward instructions push - 7035893504
By xyzpdq1
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Just make sure they give you an epidooral before the whole process starts and you'll be fine. - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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Granted, whoever really loves this pun probably has worse annunciation than 50 Cent, but still. - Matty Malaprop

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Your son may not be able to think creatively, but at least you know he can understand basic instructions. - Matty Malaprop

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Either they printed the wrong label on my box, or I'm really out of shapes... - Matty Malaprop

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Via Reddit
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Wait, it's that easy? THEN HOW HAVE I BEEN SINGLE FOR SO LONG????? - Matty Malaprop

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Via Reddit
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When inspiration calls, a true artist has no choice but to heed its words. - Matty Malaprop

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And every night of the week if I want, as long as I swing by my local co-op first! #CREYINGANDREGLOBBING5EVA - Matty Malaprop

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By xyzpdq1
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Such inconsequential-yet-poignant acts of civil disobedience never fail to lift my spirits. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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Most sharks aren't particularly picky about what they eat, but sometimes their limits are rather finite. - Matty Malaprop