in

I mean, I end up buried under a pile of books at least three times a week since I tend to run into my bookcase while trying to put on pants on a hyper-regular basis. - Matty Malaprop

Oh come on, it can't hurt that bad. I think you're just being an Octopussy about this whole thing. - Matty Malaprop

No homo but seriously JT will you please to be my ~~boyfriend~~???? - Matty Malaprop

Moar Justin TimberLOLing over here!

He's even cuter than his not-genetically-compromised counterparts! - Matty Malaprop

You know, D*shwäsher, the Hungarian ambient post-kraut post-hardcore post-rock band with the four flautists! - Matty Malaprop

I mean, have you ever tried camping sans tent? It's not a particularly pleasant experience. #MontananWisdom - Matty Malaprop

The most telling thing about this, I think, is that when Frank's in stein, he's his own monster. OH MY GOD SO META AND DEEEEEEEP. - Matty Malaprop

It's Always Sunny at ROFLrazzi!

So do you want me to pay you with money, or pizza? The lack of specificity here is killing me. - Matty Malaprop

In my family, it's tradition to always start breakfast with a lovely toast. - Matty Malaprop

And to think it was hand-coded using Trotsky++! - Matty Malaprop

In my dreams, this particular establishment is decked out with hundreds of pieces of art depicting the poor admiral drowning. Is that weird or something? - Matty Malaprop

After all, he was the former CEO's main squeeze. #ApplesAreTotallyOrangesNow #Didn'tYouGetTheMemo? - Matty Malaprop

A penny? Seriously? Abe might have been an honest dude, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a stinkin' cheapskate. - Matty Malaprop

It's kinda like that Flash game "Achievement Unlocked!" Except it's not fun and you can only click one thing and it's soundtracked by one of the worst "rap-rock" bands to ever exist. Oh f*ing boy. - Matty Malaprop