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You may be a nigh-unreadable tome of mutilated language, but you deserve fairer treatment than this! - Matty Malaprop

Guess that's why everyone at the station always called him the little engine that could throw a mean punch. - Matty Malaprop

Get loopy at Señor Gif!

If you're quick, you'll be able to catch him when he's not en garde! - Matty Malaprop

Shoutouts to Derek Lawler for his punny drum quip, which is far more intelligible and giggle-inducing than my bass-less title. - Matty Malaprop

Minus the mange and the crooked tail, this man's depiction of the mutt in question is DEAD on. - Matty Malaprop

This was apparently drawn by a 10-year-old, and that's awesome. Except said 10-year-old is way better at art than me, and that's really sad. :( - Matty Malaprop

Especially if it guest-starred Rihanna, amirite? - Matty Malaprop