The secret to successful relationships is always holding yourself with the utmost confidence. - Matty Malaprop

Soccer? But I barely even know her! #clichénonsequitursftw - Matty Malaprop

Viva la regeneración! - Matty Malaprop

Set humor to ludicrous speed!

Ain't nobody in the world rolls slower than these zomb-Gs. - Matty Malaprop

No offense, "how people view me" dude, but Viewmasters are waaaaaaaaaaay cooler than you could ever hope to be. #nostalgiaformylostchildhood - Matty Malaprop

So this is the classification system started by users in the Twittersphere that was adopted by its developers? ... interesting. - Matty Malaprop

I'mmaLetYouFinishBut #MetallicaIsNotMetal - Matty Malaprop

Brown #CopOut #WhateverI'llPostItNBD - Matty Malaprop