gross

I wouldn't wear these shoes if I was paid to do so and they were hand-Taylored for me and me alone. - Matty Malaprop

Want more fashion fails? We've got you covered... at least partially, that is.

To hell. Because Satan's post-coital joy-screech still sounds roughly a million times better than they do. - Matty Malaprop

Can we please just go back to mono-fart jokes as the de fact form of lowbrow entertainment? Please??? - Matty Malaprop

I just want you all to know that this is only on the front page because YOU all said you liked it. I wash my hands of this whole sappy quotidian matter! - Matty Malaprop

The ignorance achieved such levels that Gordon Ramsay was genuinely bewildered as to how someone could possibly not mean to serve another person straight up rancid scallops. 

... that makes one of us, anonymous submitter. Because I certainly do not. - Matty Malaprop