forever alone

And eggs.

Sallie Mae is not your girlfriend, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. - Matty Malaprop

If you're going to be forever alone, at least your bath bubbles can keep you company this way! - Matty Malaprop

My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop

For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!

Ferris wheel? More like unfairest wheel, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Oh man, the possibilities of mythological rage comics are endless! You have Y Eunomia Guy, Hefapfapfapstus, Me Zeusta, Poseiderp, Poker Phanes... - Matty Malaprop

Ever since he made that last Rambo movie, his friend and relationship prospects have all become a little Rocky. - Matty Malaprop