expletive

This is eggsactly the thing I needed to brighten my otherwise dreary day! - Matty Malaprop

Because clearly the highest quality paper in the world has a grain that points Heavenward at all times. - Matty Malaprop

Get off the falcon stage, you hack! The only thing you're preying on is our brain cells! - Matty Malaprop

It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop

What horrible predicament has fate let Lusitania upon the world this time? - Matty Malaprop

Sheet happens, you know? - Matty Malaprop

Don't let them tell you otherwise; every ditch in the world just lives to suck... shocks. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, fir real, man? That's the way you talk to the ladies in your life? Willow be damned... - Matty Malaprop

I don't want to string you along with the details, so I'll just say it's another way to play your violin. - Matty Malaprop

One time in French class in high school, a peer of mine told the class she almost shat herself the last time she got scared by a movie. Our teacher was shocked to hear one of her pupil's swearing, until said classmate convinced her that she had meant to say "chat" (French for cat) instead.

This story has very little to do with this video. But I decided to tell it anyway, so you're welcome! - Matty Malaprop