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Petty Opinions People Will Defend to Their Last Breath

We may not have fully rounded opinions on life or the universe, but holy crap do we know exactly how we want the dishwasher loaded. Just take these things people are certain of but have zero proof to drive home the fact that people get extremely passionate about minute details. We'll argue all day about the right way to eat a banana.

petty opinions people are passionate about | NotTheNoogie More not use microwave is clock. Stop leaving unused time on there just have hit cancel button once, damn!
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A Field of Puns to Wander Around In

We're not sure if puns are funny, but they sure are there. The general consensus with wordplay like this is that it's not funny at all until it is. So here's a smattering of puns to fill the pun void. Puns and dad jokes of all stripes have their time and place, like this plate full of puns to fall face-first into.

Silly puns and wordplay memes | turtle made of bread and baguette eating lettuce Not all turtles are born wild some are bread captivity | scared hamster Im trying get over my fear ghosts Therapist: Thats spirit :
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17 Funny, Sad and Dumb Tinder Moments to Make You Feel Less Lonely

Tinder has proven itself to be a pretty strange place. Honestly, there's no way of knowing what you're going to get. Here's what people have hauled up from a sea that promised "a whole bunch of other fish." For more awkward dating moments, here are some more from the world of Tinder.

sad tinder conversations that will make you happy it is not you this happened to
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Ridiculous Google Question Spirals Out Of Control

This quick Tumblr post shows just how quickly those dumb questions we type into Google can quickly spiral out of control. At least we don't actually have tons of moths trying to fly into the sun everyday. That'd be sad. Very sad. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this Tumblr thread that provides an extreme analysis of the Ratatouille timeline.

A quick and funny Tumblr thread about a stupid Google question spiraling out of control | hedgehog-moss Follow started with asking an innocent question Google can tan front fireplace? Q Tous Images O Shopping O Vidéos answers were unanimously "no" but explanations were bit puzzling sun is not ball fire is ball hot stuff, but 's not like there's large pile wood at center flame
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Random Funny Tumblr Gems to Fill Those Pockets

Sometimes Tumblr has that blend of creativity and total weirdness that makes it just the right thing for just the right time. People could be working on names for edible flying machines or just coming up with the worst puns imaginable. These are some random Tumblr gems to tumble through.

Funny tumblr moments | pteapotdactyl weareallfromearth Follow getlitaesthetic Follow Today 10:12 want 6 pet sloths so can name them after every sin except sloth Today my wife texted this, and then immediately called make sure got because an urgent message Source
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Pretty Women Making Not So Pretty Faces

A lot of us have our daily fears about if we're looking at least presentable. We all have our angles, and some of us more than others put a whole lot of effort into making sure no one sees our bad side. These ladies go to show that every nice looking face has some potential to be at least awkward and at most straight-up freaky.

pretty women making ugly faces | attractive girl posing and same girl crossing her eyes and making a silly face
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A Bundle of Puns to Fill that Wordplay Hole

We're not sure if we like puns all that much, but they definitely have a time and a place. A well placed dad-joke can bring down the house or make you want to slam your hand in a car door. Either way if you're aching for clever and not-so-clever wordplay, there are puns to fill the pun void.

silly puns, dad jokes and clever wordplay | RECIPE SAID DICE ONION WENT LOT EFFORT BUT PLEASED WITH RESULT. food shaped like a game dice cube
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Things that Don't Make any Dang Sense

The world is full of contradictions. We have biological rules and invented bureaucracies that make no sense. Things aren't named what they mean. We even have words that just seemed to have popped in from nowhere, and odd linguistic tics that are crazily inconsistent. For more stuff about this strange world, here are weird and specific facts to alienate strangers with.

rules and things that make no sense | EDGAR More 2 Cartoon suns being drawn wearing sunglasses. Like exactly are they protecting their eyes ?
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41 Dad Jokes so Funny They'll Make Your Dad Say "Hi Laughing, I'm Dad"

There's nothing in this world quite like a good (bad) dad joke. The simplicity and elegance of a stupid pun perfectly executed can make you feel like you're in the back seat of a car on your way to soccer practice. In any case, here are several days worth of wonderful puns. For more, here are some of tumblr's most punishingly dad-tastic jokes.

bad jokes dad jokes puns
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Foods Being Eaten Improperly

Sometimes we discover things that we didn't realize we were passionate about. For example, there's a right and wrong way to eat a burrito, and no one is allowed to argue otherwise. Sure, there are people out there making cursed foods from lucifer's larder all the time, but to go as far as to eat basic stuff the wrong way? That's asking for a fight.

food beings eaten the wrong way | bite taken out the side of an unpeeled banana | cutting pieces from the center of a pizza with a fork and knife
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bell smart literalism dumbbell dumb opposites - 7021041408
By Sofa-Knee (Via Sofa-Knee)
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Punmaster Sofa-Knee says: "'The smartest bell is the Nobel.' - The Man"

I don't know which "man" Sofa-Knee is referring to, but I'm quite fond of the quote! - Matty Malaprop

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Puns for the Mined, Bawdy and Sole

There are those of us who love puns, and those of us who would like to take every pun-maker on the planet and shoot them out of a cannon into a brick wall. Many of us fall somewhere in between. Puns can be dumb or clever, but if one thing is for sure it's that they have an appropriate time and place.

funny, clever and dumb puns | bro gonna get so lit lphane PEPPERMINT ANTACID TABLETS chewable two ants with antacids
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27 Hilariously Dumb Moments That Are Literally Not Wrong

It's like the world is one great big dad joke. God bless these people for proving it for us once and for all. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere. Life on earth in 2019 can best be described as a meme. And when life's a meme, all you can do is look at even MORE memes. 

Sometimes though humor needs that extra oomph, that edge to it to get you going. Well we are happy to oblige and give you some of the best dark humor memes available today. 

memes that are puns which are basically just medium grade dad jokes
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Twitter Users Reveal Ridiculous Statements Overheard At The Movie Theater

Remember the days when we could watch movies in the theater without a care in the world? Our biggest worry was which size popcorn to get (large obviously) or where to sit (back row, middle seats, duh). But those days are distant memories, and who knows when we'll be allowed back into theaters. We wouldn't even mind the obnoxious idiots who talk throughout the movie, or who have their phones on loud—just bring back normality, please! Joining us in movie theater nostalgia is writer Mike Ginn, who recently tweeted: "The thing I miss most about movie theaters is overhearing someone say the dumbest f—king thing I've ever heard before the previews start." His tweet went viral, and he received thousands of replies from people, all sharing the dumbest things they've overheard at the movies. What's yours?

tweets of dumb things people overheard at movie theaters | tweet about 127 hours movie @ Save CJ @oboe_cop Replying to @shutupmikeginn I went to see 127 hours at the cinema. Part way through a lady in the row behind me said l hope he's not going to be stuck behind that rock for the whole film
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Worker Deploys Petty Revenge on Elevator Rule Stickler

Most of us would agree that safety rules are important to follow. But when rules are enforced not on their utility but on the satisfactions of the people getting to abuse them, that's where people get petty. For another story of pettiness, here's a coworker who complained too much about free pizza and encouraged a petty feast.

funny petty elevator revenge story | r/pettyrevenge Posted by u/-BigBadBeef Petty revenge against petty shipyard security work shipyard. COVID has seen some pretty harsh measures which actually endorse, since shipyard attracts workers all over world. One these measures lists maximum amount people can occupy elevator at once. Only 3 can use elevator at any given time, but only one if transport materials alongside.
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Company Demands to Speak to Deaf Woman on the Phone

If you thought dealing with a telecom company under normal circumstances was a hassle, you've gotta hand it to this phone representative who would only speak to the account holder no matter the reality of the situation. Sometimes company reps get too caught up in their own BS, like this company that tried selling printing supplies to a printing company.

Company rep tries talking to deaf sister on phone | r/MaliciousCompliance Posted by u/hoginlly Sorry have speak with account holder Another post on here reminded this story actually happened my sister call her Amanda few years ago, there big sporting event my family all wanted get together and watch decided all get together my sister's house watch She needed upgrade her TV package include more sports channels, which she able do online, on TV providers website.
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