cyanide and happiness

That ferocious cracking sound you just heard was neither a falling tree nor the sound of a rifle's shot; it was a very adamant Z-snap from one seriously pissed off 'squatch. - Matty Malaprop

You gotta be pretty bald to do a thing like that, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

And once again, anonymity has found itself usurped by acronymity. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Cyanide & Happiness

Even if you get left in the lurch, at least you've kept doing right by the rules of proper pun-making. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Cyanide & Happiness

Kind of a shame he didn't give chase in this particular situation. Boy's got a killer bank shot. - Matty Malaprop

Why aorta hit you for doing something so stupid, even if it was for the sake of an amazing pun! - Matty Malaprop