I've been part of a lot of crazy investigations in my day, but I don't think I've ever witnessed a crime this... wild. BLARGHARGHARGHARGH-- - Matty Malaprop

I mean, sure, you have to squint to read the damn thing, but the joke's worth a couple of chuckles in my book, so eh. - Matty Malaprop

Get over here and play a video game.

Seems to me like his boner was... unbreakable. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH- - Matty Malaprop

CELEBRITIES! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Seems to me like he adopted your approach to life, Thor. - Matty Malaprop

Wanna ROFL? ROFLrazzi's got your back!

Punmaster YJCH0I says: "Horatio Caine weighs in on an avian predicament."

Well owl be damned, a somewhat funny CSI: Miami pun! - Matty Malaprop

Best family portrait, or BEST family portrait? #FalseDichotomies #OneRightAnswerOnly - Matty Malaprop

EveryCSIJokeIsARimshot #SeriouslyUGuizGnRSux - Matty Malaprop

That's the M. Night Shamalamadoodlypop twist ending: Horatio is the victim! I guess you could say he deserves it, for all of the punishing burns he applies to other people. #Wampwamp - Matty Malaprop

He's a grown-ass man, so I wouldn't worry too much. If there's one thing I know about Carey Price, it's that he never has a problem Careying his own weight. - Matty Malaprop

And he just started seeing a new lover, too! So I guess you could even say he... died hard with a vengeance. - Matty Malaprop

Regarding your recent string of successful camping trips, I'd wager you're on a bit of a hot streak. - Matty Malaprop