crush

Now the next step for the Orange Crush team is figuring out how to fit 12 fluid ounces of liquid into their new packaging... - Matty Malaprop

TRUE STORY: I've twice had to share my bus commute to work with a posse of loud, unruly kindergarteners this week. I feel like my being crushed in the door of a subway train would be a mercy killing at this point. - Matty Malaprop

Orange soda-flavored lipgloss does sound quite delicious, to be fair... - Matty Malaprop

Forever a Dating Fail.