contraction

Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting tour dates? - Matty Malaprop

I know some people are deathly afraid of shots, but really they don't feel like much more than a quick prick. - Matty Malaprop

That is one creepy lookin' chimera you've got there, sir. - Matty Malaprop

Yarmulke yarmulke yarmulke! And poof! You've brought the movie's star to where you are! - Matty Malaprop

I mean, in terms of clarity, I think this pun would work better as "cantelope," but who am I to quibble over minute details? #IALWAYSQuibbleOverMinuteDetails - Matty Malaprop

But does it really have to happen on a Tuesday? I actually LIKE Tuesdays. Curse you, Raptor Jesus! - Matty Malaprop