... or maybe that's just the caffeine... - Matty Malaprop

Shame though. The man who found her tossed her out after he was done as though she was just so much trash. - Matty Malaprop

The only thing trenta here is the level of this poor cup's temper. - Matty Malaprop

Oh, did I say health nut? I meant nut. In general. As in totally batsh*t insane and awful. Sorry for the confusion. - Matty Malaprop

I'mmaLetYouFinishBut #MetallicaIsNotMetal - Matty Malaprop

Good thing this rendezvous wasn't a race, otherwise he'd have been thoroughly creamed by all of his friends! - Matty Malaprop

Is your grasp on awakeness starting to get a little Slippy? A cup of our fresh-brewed java will have you Peppy in no time! - Matty Malaprop

Wooooo boy, this brew's strong enough to kill a Cobra! - Matty Malaprop

Every veteran hipster knows you don't drink your coffee until you've chain-smoked four cigarettes, duh! - Matty Malaprop

And hopefully sooner than later! The time I've spent with you has been a hoot! - Matty Malaprop

Don't believe the Bible; Jesus' greatest miracle was in fact the transformation of water into java. - Matty Malaprop