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Honey, listen, your moves really aren't as smooth as you think. Sooner or later you're going to have to learn to call a spade a spade and accept that. - Matty Malaprop

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Whether in the bathroom or in life in general, courtesy is always king (-high, or Ace high in the most ideal of circumstances). - Matty Malaprop

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And by "'em" I mean the collective bladders of poker players the world over. - Matty Malaprop

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Come to think of it, the last time I played Uno I was beaten by a Mexican... NOW I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!11!!1! - Matty Malaprop

Moar gifs over here!

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The peasants are revolting? You can say that again. #PunsILearnedFromWizardOfId - Matty Malaprop