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Every beard-induced hangover I've ever had has been nothing short of a hair-raising experience. - Matty Malaprop

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I'm sorry, but where's my main cat LeVar Burton in this picture? I WANT TO READ AND I WANT THERE TO BE RAINBOWS WHILE I'M DOING IT THANKYOUVERYMUCH. - Matty Malaprop

Like the whiskey he shares a name with, J. Jonah is a master at burning. - Matty Malaprop

Damn gurl, what did Zach do to you to incur such ice-cold wrath? - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

Every veteran hipster knows you don't drink your coffee until you've chain-smoked four cigarettes, duh! - Matty Malaprop

Outta my way folks, I've got a date with a DiGiorno! - Matty Malaprop