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... not to say that I'm going to go out of my way and find the video this screenshot comes from. Oh no. That would be far too easy. - Matty Malaprop

Not to nitpick here, but I really need proof that this guy wears size 12 shoes or larger, otherwise this photographic "evidence" means stone nothing to me. - Matty Malaprop

Sure, you're paying more than $2,000 for a burger. But have you ever eaten another burger in your life that allowed you to emulate the original Oregon Trail? I DIDN'T THINK SO! - Matty Malaprop

... so we put Bigfoot on a Bigfoot on a big foot so you can... do something involving Bigfoot that is in keeping with the structure of the Xzibit meme... - Matty Malaprop

I'm also pretty into renewable energy, but my activist days are over. All that shouting and preaching left me terribly winded. - Matty Malaprop

Don't call her fat though; she's just big-boned. - Matty Malaprop

He's not above doing whatever it takes to preserve his illustrious and self-indulgent reputation. - Matty Malaprop

What, were you expecting some sort of cosmic explosion? Do you see Carl Sagan anywhere around here? I didn't think so. - Matty Malaprop

See what I did there? Eh? Eh? - Matty Malaprop

I'm not saying he doesn't deserve his fame, I'm just saying I hate when people exploit various angles to achieve success. - Matty Malaprop