beard

If you mustache a man why he would feel a fondness for his facial hair, then you'll probably never truly understand. - Matty Malaprop

Every beard-induced hangover I've ever had has been nothing short of a hair-raising experience. - Matty Malaprop

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As a bearded person, I resent the notion that facial hair is "disgusting." This poster will be hairing from my lawers soon, rest assured. - Matty Malaprop

We have agreed: You are a hipster. - Matty Malaprop

GONNA TAKE A LOT TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU / THERE'S NOTHING THAT A HUNDRED ORCS OR MORE COULD EVER DO / I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN MIDDLE-EARTH / GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO FIND THE RINGS WE NEVER HAVE" - Matty Malaprop