I bet I know what they're rocking out to right now: PULP. - Matty Malaprop

I've heard good things, but I worry this particular piece won't conform to my disCERNing literary taste. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe you can use these to get into your neighbor's sweet-ass El Camino? - Matty Malaprop

His name, quite unsurprisingly, is Lemmy. - Matty Malaprop

I don't care what anyone says; I'll love Steven Seagal and his body of work until I'm Half Past Dead. - Matty Malaprop

It's kinda like that Flash game "Achievement Unlocked!" Except it's not fun and you can only click one thing and it's soundtracked by one of the worst "rap-rock" bands to ever exist. Oh f*ing boy. - Matty Malaprop

I'mmaLetYouFinishBut #MetallicaIsNotMetal - Matty Malaprop

Was its name Chips Ahoy!? Well, it doesn't matter really. Just try and Hold Steady next time and you'll probably come out okay. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe you'll have better luck gaining exposure if you upload your music to the internet? - Matty Malaprop

What was that one really annoying song they wrote? The one that got played all the time in my hometown of Backwoods, Montucky? "Ramblin' Man?" I really HATE that song. - Matty Malaprop