Seriously, all that involuntary movement can't be good for their sirloins... - Matty Malaprop

He probably should have scanned the crime scene for witnesses before committing such a nefarious act. - Matty Malaprop

You can also call it a scientific marvel, though I suppose that doesn't have much of a ring to it. - Matty Malaprop

If the body of Christ were a big, juicy steak, I'd attend church multiple times weekly for communion alone! - Matty Malaprop

I think that's also what you call a surefire way to die of suffocation. But whatever. - Matty Malaprop

Because driving an aquarium just takes far too much work, really. - Matty Malaprop