Hold the Scotch, She's Watching Her Weight

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alcohol,Bad Joke Eel,bar,butter,butterscotch,double meaning,Hall of Fame,paula deen,scotch
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And besides, it's never a bad idea to moderate your drinking when you're a diabetic. - Matty Malaprop

Not With That Attitude You Won't!

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Bad Joke Eel,1023 mb,gig,double meaning,literalism,band,show,data,unit of measurement
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Maybe you'll have better luck gaining exposure if you upload your music to the internet? - Matty Malaprop

Criminals Like That Deserve to Do Time

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Bad Joke Eel,calendar,groan-inducing,Hall of Fame,six months,theft,thieves
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Of all the things to steal... but I mean, on the bright side, at least now they have a way to mark the days they spend doing time, right? - Matty Malaprop

Don't be mean; BE MEME! Animal Memes is just a click away!

The Case is Really Going Viral

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Bad Joke Eel,trial,mcafee antivirus,literalism,30 days,double meaning
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He probably should have scanned the crime scene for witnesses before committing such a nefarious act. - Matty Malaprop

Or Just 'Sad'

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Bad Joke Eel,Beef,beef jerky,cow,double meaning,groan-inducing,Hall of Fame,jerk,jerky,literalism,twitch
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Seriously, all that involuntary movement can't be good for their sirloins... - Matty Malaprop

*Rimshot*

Favorite
Bad Joke Eel,body,Hall of Fame,homophones,knows,no,nobody,nose
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You can also call it a scientific marvel, though I suppose that doesn't have much of a ring to it. - Matty Malaprop