He's the pop star our nation deserves, but not the one it meeps right now. - Matty Malaprop

Oh, "Scrubs..." why your network hasn't wiped you from existence yet is utterly beyond me. - Matty Malaprop

I bet you think I'm kidding, kid. But I'm totes m'goats fr rlz about this. - Matty Malaprop

Apologies for what must logically follow... #Obligatory - Matty Malaprop

You'd be cursing too if you were held aleft by some unseen force, I bet. - Matty Malaprop

Is that an actual One Direction lyric? Really? REALLY?? - Matty Malaprop

Honey! HONEY! I have some great news for you! We're pregnant with a ruthless dictator! - Matty Malaprop

The shutterstock watermark really ties the whole pun together, don't you think? - Matty Malaprop

A bit disturbing, but truthful all the same. - Matty Malaprop

I don't think Sir Mix-a-Lot had precisely this in mind when he wrote that song... - Matty Malaprop

BabiesAreGross #Don'tDenyIt #VesselsForFilthAndCrying - Matty Malaprop