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They'll listen non-judgmentally to all of your problems, free of charge. - Matty Malaprop

I'm not gonna lie... this touching farewell really got a rise out of me. - Matty Malaprop

It just makes so much sense. And Derpy Hooves can even play Steve Tyler for that inevitable rock/rap crossover hit! - Matty Malaprop

Beautifying the world, one environment-crippling gas leak at a time. OH WAIT. - Matty Malaprop

... which obviously means his enemies are going to find themselves in the midst of some serious Cloud Strife soon enough. - Matty Malaprop

You might think this pun is merely a clever means of censoring what "WTF" really stands for, but in fact it's far more insidious. The real message here is "Wrestle the Silver Tines." HOW'S THAT FOR DETECTIVE WORK? - Matty Malaprop

Say it with me, everyone: If you seek Chemistry Cat. - Matty Malaprop

A visual representation of ROFLMAO is notably absent here a cause de Mao breaking his hip the last time he tried that maneuver. - Matty Malaprop