accident

Ugh, where is Heavy when you need him? - Matty Malaprop

Thanks for putting my spirits in a state of free-fall, stick figure punmasters... - Matty Malaprop

He's worse than Delta! And that's really saying something! - Matty Malaprop

As my Colorado friends often remind me, this kind of thing is what they call "just another day in Boulder." - Matty Malaprop

Malls really do showcase the darkest depths of humanity, to be quite fair. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Weirdgomita says: "This is a Tobuscus reference."

Um... never heard of Tobuscus. All I know is "Sorry for take off your wood" is not the clearest sentence I've ever heard in my life. - Matty Malaprop

From zero to subzero in six seconds. - Matty Malaprop

I wonder how many nurses the hospital had to wrangle together in order to but this patient back out to pasture... - Matty Malaprop

We'll know more once we get the forensic evidence back from the Lab. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously though, if you tell me about a party that you're throwing, and then proceed to not invite me, I'll be tempted to say that our friendship is dolphinished. - Matty Malaprop