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... and I appreciate the effort... but how about you leave the puncrafting to the professionals next time, alright? - Matty Malaprop

I GET IT AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE GLOBE IS A THEATER IN LONDON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait that wasn't actually that funny... - Matty Malaprop

I see what you did there, crafty cucumber (zucchini?) carver. - Matty Malaprop

Stupid joke is stupid... but also, KITTEHS! - Matty Malaprop

That joke was truly off the chain. - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

Awwwwwwww yeah. Do you see what I D'd there? - Matty Malaprop

What he's trying to say is: She really is that ugly. - Matty Malaprop

Sounds to me like someone just got puppwned. - Matty Malaprop

... unless of course you're not an amputee, in which case I feel like a big jerk and I'm sorry and I'm going to go kill myself now. - Matty Malaprop

Because driving an aquarium just takes far too much work, really. - Matty Malaprop

I don't think anyone can argue that the above is a bout between two cold-hearted killers. - Matty Malaprop

HEYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. - Matty Malaprop

Though I suppose a stopped bottle of wine is a bit less inviting than an unstopped one... - Matty Malaprop