Command

Let's just hope he learns to stay down before his owner's brother comes over to meet him, lest we risk seeing yet another fall of Troy. - Matty Malaprop

Anyone know the hot keys for "dice?" I keep pressing Ctrl+D, but all it does is terminate my food... - Matty Malaprop

... but sadly in good ol' Montucky it's illegal to keep magpies as pets. And no, I'm not making that up. - Matty Malaprop

... do you... do you C what I did there? - Matty Malaprop

Is this some kind of sick joke? Why is it that everything I do just isn't quite good enough for you!? (crey) - Matty Malaprop

I'm also not partial to puns that are this overbearingly self-aware... but hey, sometimes you just gotta nod and smile and every wink wink life throws you. - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, where is Heavy when you need him? - Matty Malaprop

Because getting through that asteroid belt in level two requires a lot of hay feverish button mashing. - Matty Malaprop

Are you kidn-ey with this pun? - Matty Malaprop