Command

Are you kidn-ey with this pun? - Matty Malaprop

... but sadly in good ol' Montucky it's illegal to keep magpies as pets. And no, I'm not making that up. - Matty Malaprop

... do you... do you C what I did there? - Matty Malaprop

In an old-fashioned duel, he whose blade is sharpiest always wins. - Matty Malaprop

And then she shouted "BAYER WITH ME!" ... and everyone turned into aspirin. - Matty Malaprop

Is this some kind of sick joke? Why is it that everything I do just isn't quite good enough for you!? (crey) - Matty Malaprop

Windows is like a box of chocolates. I'll let you figure out precisely what that means. - Matty Malaprop

Anyone know the hot keys for "dice?" I keep pressing Ctrl+D, but all it does is terminate my food... - Matty Malaprop

Well at least his natural response to your command wasn't simply to bend over... - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, where is Heavy when you need him? - Matty Malaprop

Mortal Costumebat? Masqueradal Kombat? I don't know. This one doesn't really roll off the proverbial tongue. - Matty Malaprop