Bach

I'mma just say it: Johann Sebastian Jackson still sounds WAY BETTER than freakin' Jermajesty Jackson. - Matty Malaprop

Aaaaaaaaaaand this is what we in the business refer to as "the bottom of the barrel." - Matty Malaprop

Okay, we get it, you're all idiot savants with basically infinite talent and creativity. Give it a rest, you guys. - Matty Malaprop

Seems fitting for a man with fingers as acrobatic as Bach's. - Matty Malaprop

... more like ASS-TO-ASS!! - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe Rachmaninoff? I do love me some Rachmaninoff... - Matty Malaprop

In terms of clever promotions, I'm certain this one's going to become an instant classic. - Matty Malaprop