Ew

I can still smell it. I can see it. I can even taste it. The sweet soda flavor and subtle berry-colored tint made Bonne Bell's Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers a cult favorite from elementary school all the way into high school. The lip balm was mentioned all the time in our favorite teen magazines , and the popular girls at school applied and reapplied every five minutes. That sh*t smelled so good. While it took a while for me to convince anyone to buy it for me, once I had it, I was hooked. And I felt…

Audacious

Always send work emails on company time.

Lying is bad. At least that's what they tell you from a young age. But as controversial as it may sound, sometimes lies are necessary - even from the people who are supposed to teach kids right from wrong. You see, parenting is difficult. You've got these annoying critters hanging around 24/7, and they always seem to want things that are either bad for them or prevent you from having a good time. The thing is, they've got some pretty malleable brains. They're still learning about how the world…

What did he expect

The Biblically accurate Larry the Cucumber haunts my dreams

What could they be?

Two days ago, one of the better animal-themed holidays took place. If you're an animal lover , Thanksgiving can be a difficult time for you, but Groundhog Day is a bright light that is far too underrated. We don't even get work off for the little guy! I know it's kind of silly that we listen to a groundhog's opinion on the future of weather in this country, but I wholeheartedly believe that we should have more silly animal holidays. The Easter Bunny is definitely up there as one of the goofiest…

We were all undeniably stupid at one point or another, so who are we to judge?

Gotta chase episode 3 of 'The Last of Us' with some good 'ole funny Ron Swanson from 'Parks and Recreation' memes.

Everything is embarrassing

Working retail is not a fun gig. In fact, most customer-facing positions are actually incredibly challenging. It's not just about making people happy. It's about managing the people who aren't happy - and that includes people who, based on their personalities and how they treat others, will probably never be happy. While my favorite job was working at a fish market in Cape Cod, the fun and food also came with having to help entitled rich people on vacation with their white-clad families. It was…

More or less

Got 'em

There is one Disney story from my childhood that still makes me laugh to this day. When I was a teenager, I used to go to a theatre competition every year. You would perform a selection from a “junior” show, shortened and edited versions of musicals intended for young performers. A couple of years into going, The Lion King Jr. was released so that children could finally participate in a shorter version of the hit Disney Broadway musical . The number of white children wearing kente cloth legging…