You want a Bugatti?

Shine bright like a diamond? No, no. You mean, diamonds shine bright like Rihanna.

You've done it! You've really done it. You have survived another debaucherous, boring, or even - healthy - weekend on planet Earth, and now it's time to return to the of the agonizing responsibility of the Monday through Friday workweek. After sleeping for 11 hours straight last night (I'm not one for the Super Bowl) and my rejuvenating therapy session, it is feeling a little easier to bend over for the man and write silly litle blurbs like this one. This particular collection of memes (and twe…

The bump heard 'round the world.

Horse girls are the glue that keeps this country together . Their passion for these majestic animals gives me the strength to go out and follow my own passions. Society might criticize and deride (haha) horse girls for their earnestness, but the horse girl community will never fall. Their power grows, like the baby foal into mighty steed they so gracefully ride upon. My favorite horse girl of all time is Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet . This is a girl who knows what she wants, and she's go…

The only M's in my bank account are "mistakes"

Time travel media often portrays every choice you make as intrinsically connected to how your future life will go down. Every day, you make a million little choices, and if you don't make one in a particular way, your future self is irrevocably changed. I feel like this is true for very few minor choices you could make, like the first time you hang out with your future best friend or the time you decide not to jaywalk and save yourself from becoming the victim of vehicular manslaughter. I doubt…

Children have incredibly creative minds and use this creativity in numerous ways. At my elementary school, the innocents used their childlike wonder to create the grossest monstrosity of food ever concocted. This activity was usually limited to kids who bought lunch at the cafeteria. It's much more complicated to play with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and carrot sticks than it is to mix school milk with a fruit cocktail. Chicken strip day was always the grossest. People would pour strawbe…

It's easy to take birds for granted, especially when you live in an urban setting. The prevalence of pigeons, sparrows, and starlings here in New York is such that you can forget that they're kind of cool. Yes, even the pigeons. The hatred humans have for them has long been dispelled as misguided and unfair. In fact, contempt for pigeons didn't really exist until humans started building cities – and pigeons started adapting. Which is exactly what most humans were doing, too. Whenever I leave th…

Any self-respecting meme enthusiast is well aware of their incredible versatility. It really feels like there is a meme out there for every kind of person from every walk of life. Facebook moms go absolutely bonkers for corny and cringey minion memes. Those basic white girls who live for pumpkin spice season? They go absolutely wild for a meme about wine or the crinkle of fall leaves under their Ugg boots. Angry “Kyles” liken themselves to the frustrated incels in Wojak comics . There's somethi…

Soothing

Where are the parents

What is happening

Literacy was a mistake

When you think of the most famous programmers in the world, who do you think of? Alan Turing comes to mind for me. I doubt you would be reading these programming memes today if it wasn't for Alan Turing. You probably wouldn't be a programmer, and who knows what kind of world we'd be living in. Turing cracked the Enigma code, beating the nazis and inventing one of the core concepts of computer science in the process. Not only is he the father of theoretical computer science, but he's also the fa…

To be clear, it isn't that thing.