Scritches not included

Bank account at a negative zero.

Minimal dust

TO THE WINDOOOOW, TO THE WALL

Millennials . When we're not busy ruining the economy with our decadent avocado toast and otherwise utilitarian consumer behavior, we're tending to our 5k-follower shitpost accounts, wondering where we went wrong in life. Is this really all there is? The millennial thinks to herself as she stands in line at the local overpriced café. She consults her bank app as if it were a crystal ball, providing guidance on whether or not to go for that extra pastry. Then she goes off to her second freelance…

Lights, camera, debunked!

Good design

Every day you consume things. Unless you are sitting in a dark room with no technology because you're recovering from a concussion or you're a deeply neglected child (and if you're either of those things, I'm terribly sorry), you consume stuff with your eyes and other less important senses every day. You see buses, Comedy Central sitcoms that got canceled after three seasons, and God . Just kidding about that last one, unless you're highly advanced, or you're that person suffering from that con…

Make it stop

When friends reveal their true nature

We're all well aware that when certain people are given the gift of posting on social media, they use it for evil. But with the responses to a question posed by the infamous Twitter user @omocler, the Twitterverse unleashed a whirlwind of absurdity, pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable, appropriate, and, quite frankly, comprehensible. But that honestly makes sense, given the fact that @omocler asked users to share the craziest tweets they'd ever seen. As one might expect, many of these…

What items would you bring if you were stranded on a desert island? I have no clue. People ask this question to gauge what others want to do in their final moments on earth if they are stranded and alone . I feel like giving a survivalist answer to this question is such a cop-out. If you were actually on a desert island, you would probably want a knife, a lighter, and a communication device, but those answers are boring. I want fantasy! I want to know what music you will listen to when you take…

I don't think I'm the drama...

These memes don't lag

People are often surprised when I tell them that my 92-year-old grandmother is capable of sending me emails. They're surprised that my Grandfather posts to my Facebook, and still calls me to describe his dreams. While they've both got a pretty good handle on using the world wide web, there's plenty of people their age (even boomers) who consistently fail to use social media, and even Google, properly. While sometimes their failures or inappropriate diatribes can be offensive, many of the online…

If you're beyond bored and hungry while waiting for lunchtime at work every day, these memes are for you.