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    Where I Have to Sit When I go to the Movies The Friend I Was Supposed To Sit Next To Some Giant Grandma Who Stands Up to Clap Every Time She Thinks A Part Of the Movie is Good Popcorn Cruncher A Guy With Six Piercings Some Texting-Obsessed Person Who Forgot to Turn off her rap ringtone Me A Bratty Little Girl who is Also a Seat Kicker A Mom Who thinks the Kicking Girl, Her Daughter, is Just a Darling Somebody Who Spilled Their Entire Thing of Refreshments

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    Proximity of Kleenex Box by Situation

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    Position of liquid spillage on my pants

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