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Not Pictured: Times You Stab Yourself in the Eye and Blink the Contact Out With Your Tears

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I've Never Seen So Much Blood

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Augh, Splinter!

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Car Crash? No Big Deal

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Well, My Sinuses Are Clear Now

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THAT Was In My FACE?!

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Poke Poke Poke

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What You Yell When You Stub Your Toe

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Classic: It Hurts So Good

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Good God, Do You Live In a Final Destination Movie?

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20-year-old doesn't get resort job, dad declines to budget her in on family vacation they've been taking since she was 7

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