fail nation

This is Reza Aslan, a scholar of religion and religious history. As a part of his promotional tour for his new work, Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, Aslan appeared on Fox to be interviewed by anchor Lauren Green. In maybe the most cringe-worthy piece of conversation ever recorded on the network, Green can't seem to get past the idea that a Muslim scholar would want to write a book about Jesus - who as you may know is something of a standout historical/religious fig

According to Lan Tien, "It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result." One might use this as a teaching moment to talk about the safety of one's tally-whacker in the open air, but all we're left wondering is just HOW your jingle-jank can "fall" into an open pipe.

These are the mysteries of life, people.