school

That's sarcasm, in case you didn't figure it out. Our piss-poor education system is an issue of national concern, and, more importantly, national shame.

Why don't I evaporate? Checkmate, atheists!

Click here and read the map state-by-state in detail.

On average, the eight Ivy League schools had an acceptance rate of 8.9% in 2014, which, in comparison to Walmart's 2.6%, makes Cornell easier to get into than your mom.