florida

Just kidding. What happens in Florida gets reported nationwide so everyone else can laugh at Florida.

Meanwhile in Florida…

A new theme park called "Machine Gun America" is opening December 20 in Orlando, because teaching kids how to use automatic weapons in the same area as Disney World is a great idea!

Dubbed "Orlando's first automatic adrenaline attraction" the park says it offers "an exciting way to experience firearms in a safe, secure, state-of-the-art environment designed to give anyone, regardless of their experience level, the thrill of a lifetime."

Guests cannot bring their own guns, you can't drink and anyone 13-years or older is allowed into the park.

The 13,000-square-foot facility has, according to the press release, 10 firing lanes, three simulators, a full-immersion video experience with surround sound, a gift shop, refreshment area and VIP Lounge and viewing area.

There are also a number themes you can choose from, including a zombie apocalypse and one called "Automatic Divas:"

• Special Ops Red, White and Blue
  Feeling patriotic? Shoot military-grade firearms and feel like a national hero.

• Gangster Land
  A shooting experience perfect for guys and dolls looking for the thrill of some of the most infamous 'heaters' from the 1930s and 40s.

• The Walking Dread
  Are you a survivor? Brave the zombie apocalypse with the help of fully automatic firearms. Don't forget, aim for the undead head.

• 007
  Channel your inner Bond and experience the thrill of being an elite special agent. Shoot legendary sophisticated guns in classic Bond style, tuxedo not required.

• Western Shootout
  Fulfill your Wild West destiny with classic guns of outlaws and lawmen alike that are sure to hit the target for any cowboy.

• Automatic Divas
  Let your bad side come out to play and take charge with polished pistols and powerful machine guns for the biggest and boldest rush of excitement.

• Big Screen Legends
  Say hello to our little friends. Live out your favorite movie scenes with some of the most legendary guns in film history and become the hero of your own story. There has of course been some pushback over the opening of the park from groups like Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense, but MGA is still opening up as scheduled.

"It's romanticizing our freedom and our history," General Manager Bruce Nierenberg told Florida's WTSP. "I mean, it's part of American life. That's how we gained our freedom."

Congratulations, Florida. You've somehow managed to outdo yourselves again.

In October, Josh James of Jupiter, FL threw a three and a half foot alligator into the drive through window of a local Wendy's restaurant. The authorities finally caught up with him and he has been arrested because apparently you're not allowed to go around town slinging large, dangerous reptiles at people.

Why would someone throw a three and a half foot alligator into a fast food restaurant? His mother told WPTV, "He's a prankster.  He does stuff like this because he thinks it's funny". 

Just spare yourself the embarrassment of walking out empty handed and with your tail between your legs.