baseball

Yep, the Cubs are gonna be that bad this season.

Some of you may be wondering why I'm posting a Japanese baseball player who plays for a Canadian team on Americana, of all places. Well, to that, I can only say: I love Michael Jordan. You know Michael Jordan?

Things were rough at the opening game for the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field. The stadium began a massive renovation project, but due to inclimate weather this past winter progress has been minimal. Despite all this, the Cubs insisted their field was prepared for opening day.

Cut to this weekend, where only two of the men's rooms in the entire stadium were functional. Literally thousands of fans waited in line for as long as an hour to take a leak, leading many to pee in cups, or make liquid graffiti of their names on the wall like children. Food shortages meant that many fans were left with nothing but french fries to snack on as the game progressed. 

The Cubs ended up losing their game 3-0 against the St. Louis Cardinals

Move over, 50 Cent, 'cause we've got 105 Cent coming through!

The last time the Cubs won the World Series, the Ottoman Empire still existed, and the first affordable mass-produced automobile, the Ford Model T, was introduced.

The ole' foul ball switcheroo.

He can catch some big balls...

And by "best," I mean "worst."