Walmart

Hey kid: Walmart's tagline of "Save Money, Live Better" doesn't actually mean living inside the damn store! The teenager was found inside a Walmart in Corsicana, TX, about 55 miles south of Dallas. He had set up two makeshift campsites, one in the stroller aisle behind the large boxes, and another one near paper towels and toilet paper. The boy had been shacked up inside the superstore for four days before being found out, which is unsurprising seeing as some employees won't help you even if you holler "excuse me" right in their faces.

For when you need to make a quick getaway.

Daniel Gaspard, 45, left the store Saturday afternoon with a half gallon of vodka, an Adidas sun visor, a TV antenna, and “Mardi Gras cups,”police reported.

The sad part is that Gaspard actually made it out of the store with all of the stuff, and was only apprehended after a Walmart employee walking to work saw him in the parking lot of a local dollar store. The employee probably wouldn't have thought anything of it had the cart not had a big "Property of Walmart" sticker slapped on the front.

Gaspard was arrested shortly thereafter on felony theft charges and held on $4,000 bail.

Episode 1: "Pilot" - SmartCart RAMPAGE MAYHEM!