Tonight you will have "one drink"

It's my party and I'll ruin the vibe if I want to

Welcome to the U.S. of SLAY

A hangover happens because you're borrowing happiness from the morning and using it for your nighttime fun.

I was born to be a hermit

Why can I quote every movie I've ever seen, but I forget someone's name the second they tell me?

Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm going back to bed to stay away from you

It was 5 o'clock ten years ago

So how long do you mentally prepare in order to leave the house and deal with people?... 24 hours? Cool me too.

Favoritism is an issue a lot of kids deal with. I can't imagine how horrible it feels to feel like your parents care about one of your siblings more than you. For many of us, we can see areas where our parents might treat our siblings differently than they treated us, but outright favoritism is more rare and so much worse than passing inequities. The phenomenon can border on neglect when parents put the needs of one golden child over the black sheep child. This treatment causes resentment betwe…

2023 is my year

Also, dead celebrity pranks, Australian garage parties, and chain restaurant brawls? All in for 2023!

It's been going on for days

Not me spending 2 months recharging my social battery after one Friday night out...

I have plans with my couch, a loaf of garlic bread, and Wednesday Addams on Netflix

'I'll let you know' means I'm not coming