For Anyone Who Thinks Math Jokes Arboring

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Square,literalism,root,tree,math,square root
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I bet that square is nine, because its root looks like tree to me! - Matty Malaprop

Tree's a Crowd

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conversation,facebook,lolwut,nomenclature,status,tree,trees
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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

A Very Seasonal Pun

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double meaning,homophone,tree,relief,leaf,seasons,literalism,re
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I'm so jealous of trees. They always seem to foli-age so beautifully! - Matty Malaprop

That's Not How You Should Talk to Someone You're Pining For!

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birch,birches,expletive,similar sounding,sup,tree,trees
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I mean, fir real, man? That's the way you talk to the ladies in your life? Willow be damned... - Matty Malaprop

He's Constantly Sprucing Up His Social Life

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Aristotle,ethics,literalism,missing letter,poplar,popular,similar sounding,three,tree
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It's like what Aristotle describes... you can have thousands of acquaintances, but true friends can only come in ones, twos or trees. - Matty Malaprop

It Reacts Quite Quickly to Changing Seasons

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chemist,Chemistry,double meaning,homophones,literalism,tree
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Strangely, though it lacks sentience, a number of scientists have found it quite easy to bond with. - Matty Malaprop

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