DAT ASH

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DAT ASH
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YES I'M AWARE IT'S AN EVERGREEN AND THE ASH IS DECIDUOUS BUT COME ON NOW DAT SPRUCE JUST SOUNDS SILLY IF YOU ASK ME. - Matty Malaprop

A Very Seasonal Pun

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A Very Seasonal Pun
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I'm so jealous of trees. They always seem to foli-age so beautifully! - Matty Malaprop

Dude Looks Totally Coconuts

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Dude Looks Totally Coconuts
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I have nothing against the mentally insane, but I really don't think there's a chance in hell that he and I could ever be fronds. - Matty Malaprop

Does That Mean I'm Allowed to Cut You Down?

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Does That Mean I'm Allowed to Cut You Down?
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Maybe I'm just too cynical to appreciate love, but I've always felt like weddings are simply mulch ado about nothing. - Matty Malaprop

Evergreen Samsara

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Evergreen Samsara
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Transfiguration is cool and all, but I woodn't be so happy about becoming a thing for people to sit on if I was this tree. - Matty Malaprop

Some People Just Can't Leaf Well Enough Alone

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Some People Just Can't Leaf Well Enough Alone
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You can use a joke like this time and again, but its humor value will always be evergreen. - Matty Malaprop