YES I'M AWARE IT'S AN EVERGREEN AND THE ASH IS DECIDUOUS BUT COME ON NOW DAT SPRUCE JUST SOUNDS SILLY IF YOU ASK ME. - Matty Malaprop
I'm so jealous of trees. They always seem to foli-age so beautifully! - Matty Malaprop
I have nothing against the mentally insane, but I really don't think there's a chance in hell that he and I could ever be fronds. - Matty Malaprop
Maybe I'm just too cynical to appreciate love, but I've always felt like weddings are simply mulch ado about nothing. - Matty Malaprop
Transfiguration is cool and all, but I woodn't be so happy about becoming a thing for people to sit on if I was this tree. - Matty Malaprop
You can use a joke like this time and again, but its humor value will always be evergreen. - Matty Malaprop
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