More like NO'Reilly AMIRITE?

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More like NO'Reilly AMIRITE?
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Anyone who answers to Fox News' Glenn Beck and call deserves to have their eyes pecked out by an owl. Just sayin'. - Matty Malaprop

Relieves Itching, AND Angry Jurors!

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Relieves Itching, AND Angry Jurors!
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Or something like that. I WORK ON THE INTERNET. How the hell should I know what a court aide does? #TooLazyToGoogle - Matty Malaprop

Is it Spiked With Scotch?

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Is it Spiked With Scotch?
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No, seriously, is it? Because I'll totally shill out four bucks for a weak bottle of Teachers, and that sh*t ain't even good! - Matty Malaprop

Oh, and Her Bewbs Are Nice Too

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Oh, and Her Bewbs Are Nice Too
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But seriously you guys those owls are out of this world! - Matty Malaprop