Does That Also Give You the Right to Free Touch-Ups?

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Does That Also Give You the Right to Free Touch-Ups?
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Fitting that one should tattoo that constitutional right on one's guns, eh? - Matty Malaprop

Who you callin' ugly?

This Cup Can't Even Handle Me Right Now

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This Cup Can't Even Handle Me Right Now
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The tumbler, on the other hand, would have no problems keeping the present you contained. - Matty Malaprop

More Like Sloppyright, Namsayin?

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More Like Sloppyright, Namsayin?
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I imagine this particular artist did not score very high trademarks in his circle-drawing seminar... - Matty Malaprop

Execution is Everything

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Execution is Everything
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Even if you get left in the lurch, at least you've kept doing right by the rules of proper pun-making. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Cyanide & Happiness