It really is a pretty tragic story. Even his campaign manager resigned after he determined that Scissors was a danger to himself and others. - Matty Malaprop

He puts the vice in Vice President. #IfYouKnowWhatIMean - Matty Malaprop

I was elected to lead, not to read!

I'm not trying to sound catty, but I really do think the Internet's obsession with this pun chain is just totally and completely a bunch of bull. - Matty Malaprop

... because pragmatism trumps liberalism? - Matty Malaprop

If you don't vote Trump in 2012, the U.S. economy is going to have hell toupée. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe next time you should hold the anchovies. - Matty Malaprop