Such Was His Delivery From Evil

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Such Was His Delivery From Evil
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I think I would have enjoyed this story a bit more if I hadn't been completely sauced when I read it. - Matty Malaprop

Seems Like They're Really Getting to the Crust of the Matter

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Seems Like They're Really Getting to the Crust of the Matter
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After reading this groan-worthy pizza puns, I really feel like I could use a margherita. - Matty Malaprop

PUNX.

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PUNX.
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It's a cat riding a skateboard made of pizza with a pretty cliché pun underneath the image. What more could anyone possibly want from the internet?

That Bear-Thing is the Funniest Lookin' Slowpoke I've Ever Seen

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That Bear-Thing is the Funniest Lookin' Slowpoke I've Ever Seen
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The facepalm felt from a groaner hurts. The facepalm felt from a groaner-gone-unnoticed hurts more than anything else in the world. - Matty Malaprop

That's a Very Exact Amount, IMO

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That's a Very Exact Amount, IMO
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You know, a "whole lot" is just slightly less than a ton, but still considerably more than "a fair amount." MATHEMATICS! - Matty Malaprop