lost

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By xyzpdq1
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Without any corrective gear, my vision's fuzzier than an AT&T signal in the wilds of Montana. #rimshot - Matty Malaprop

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Via: Mr. Lovenstein
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This is why I try to keep my material possessions to a minimum. Sentimentality and attachment are clearly just mules' games. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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Dude, you really ought to keep a better ion those things! - Matty Malaprop

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By Dave (Via: scimoccomics.tumblr.com)
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It's really David's fault, I think. If he'd only taken my advice and named his phone something easily recognizable like Aloysius or Quonishua, then maybe said phone would be a little bit more responsive to calls from his owner! - Matty Malaprop

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Via: Barty Bart
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Yeah, I made a really lame joke related to Joy Division by simply using the world Closer in my title. WHAT OF IT??????? - Matty Malaprop

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By dominicsoh (Via: Pocket Puns)
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That sort of thing happens to the best of us, believe me. It's enough to make you RAM your head against the wall, though. - Matty Malaprop