It's an experiment about nothing! - Matty Malaprop

I wanna hold your... paw? - Matty Malaprop

Fighting internet unfunniness crime, one shoop at a time. - Matty Malaprop

Let's be clear: Outside of the literal interpretation of the conjunction of these two symbols, the iPad is in no way, shape or form a thing even remotely as good as an actual apple pie. - Matty Malaprop

The super-sized version with the 17-inch screen is pretty saucy, though... - Matty Malaprop

Say what you will about the OS itself, but let me be the first to say that the Blue Screen of Death does WONDERS keeping the bugs out of your apartment. - Matty Malaprop

Because you really haven't lived until you've seen a monk spackle a wall using nothing but a bag of white rice. - Matty Malaprop