Jail Bait

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Jail Bait
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This is just so incredibly self-evident, and I'm just so incredibly mortified by this kind of mildly fetishistic humor. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR THIS KIND OF THING. - Matty Malaprop

Being a Christian Didn't Hurt Your Case Either

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Being a Christian Didn't Hurt Your Case Either
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Just stay away from that lighting guy and I'm sure your probation will go swimmingly. - Matty Malaprop

He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free

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He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free
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... because his voice is lovely, and he's got a talent for narration, and thus he can charge people lots of money to do voiceover work, and so it's not free, since it costs money... - Matty Malaprop