Maybe He Should Have Just Kept Silent

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And this, children, is what happens when you open your big mouthpieces. - Matty Malaprop

And I You, Deer!

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And I hope, should I ever propose, that you'll gladly say "I doe." - Matty Malaprop

You Can't Beet These Food Puns

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Punmaster Jacques D. says: "Meat a new comedy duo as they put their beans together, kick the peanut around, and stew on some new material."

I couldn't have put it any better myself, Jacques D. So thanks for letting me not have to! - Matty Malaprop