But I Didn't Shoot the Wingding

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But I Didn't Shoot the Wingding
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Hey, hey, put down your guns! I'm just the courier of the Times News here!

She's Often the Bearder of Bad News

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She's Often the Bearder of Bad News
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Man, the simplicity of google has really been the armpits for people who like to ask riddles. - Matty Malaprop

Talk About Acorn-y Joke...

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Talk About Acorn-y Joke...
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Looks like all the joy is gone from someone's almonds... - Matty Malaprop

Nelly Purrtado's Latest Hit

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Nelly Purrtado's Latest Hit View Fullscreen
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GPOY me in da club. All the ladies be wanting my nuts, but I'm a really really tough cache. - Matty Malaprop

Sounds About Right

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Sounds About Right
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On the plus side, high fidelity headphones are always faithful to their spouses, AND they'll take a bullet for any and all of their friends and acquaintances. - Matty Malaprop

WELCOME TO MY LIFE (CREY)

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WELCOME TO MY LIFE (CREY)
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Matty Malaprop's Valentine's Day 2012 Agenda: Work. Go home. Cry. Listen to The Smiths. Cry. Eat ice cream. Cry. Listen to the Smiths. Cry. Fap. Cry. Eat ice cream, listen to The Smiths, cry and fap simultaneously. Repeat until it's Feb. 15.

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!

Unfortunately Progress on the Film Was Arrested in Development

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Unfortunately Progress on the Film Was Arrested in Development
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A stunning documentary that proves once and for all that there's always money in the banana stand. - Matty Malaprop