Be keffiyeh what you wish for, tie. You just might get it. - Matty Malaprop

Matty Malaprop's Valentine's Day 2012 Agenda: Work. Go home. Cry. Listen to The Smiths. Cry. Eat ice cream. Cry. Listen to the Smiths. Cry. Fap. Cry. Eat ice cream, listen to The Smiths, cry and fap simultaneously. Repeat until it's Feb. 15.

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!

You're free to think about it I guess, but my inkling is that the whole experience would turn out to be rather Sarlacc-ing. - Matty Malaprop

It takes no of them? Is that like dividing by zero? Color me impressed! - Matty Malaprop

Well at least his natural response to your command wasn't simply to bend over... - Matty Malaprop

I'm just glad most websites nowadays will automatically log you off (unless you tell them to do otherwise) in the event that your Internet connection cuts out. - Matty Malaprop