Seriously, the entire history of my social life could be summarized as one. From that one time I drunkenly threw up all over everything and everyone I ever loved to that other time I dressed up my neighbor's rooster as a transgendered caricature of Lady Gaga... let's just say my existence has long been one big pile of shame. - Matty Malaprop

So please, stop crowing over my request and please comb over your attitude. - Matty Malaprop

Sherlock's deductive reasoning skills are eggselent, but he's been known to comb over obvious evidence all too often. - Matty Malaprop

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Being a bird isn't all it's quacked up to be, you know! - Matty Malaprop