I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you might also wanna get that overbite checked out while you're at it. - Matty Malaprop

It's also the best-behaved vegetable I've ever encountered. You tell it to get in the steamer, and it gets in the steamer! - Matty Malaprop

This could have gone a lot ruffer. Y'all should be thankful for the dopey punchline. - Matty Malaprop

Cute puppies and funny doggies: I Has a Hotdog has 'em all!

Corgnelius seems to think that joke fell short... just like his legs OMG CORGIZ R SO CYOOOOT!!!!!!1!!!11 - Matty Malaprop

I know it's kind of a classic at this point, but to be quite honest with you, I find Jurassic Park to be quite repugnant. - Matty Malaprop

Cute puppies and funny doggies: I Has a Hotdog has 'em all!

At least she'll be floofy and man's best friend even if her career starts to go down a ruff path! - Matty Malaprop