Do these jeans make my tail look big? - Matty Malaprop

I always end up having to take it in for repairs. I tried doing it myself once, but I'm just terrible at picking up new skills cold. - Matty Malaprop

Why does this pasta taste like apples... ??? - Matty Malaprop

I have a confession to make, everyone; my infinite neuroses and perpetual state of nervousness have branded me a lifelong nail biter. The only upside: I'll never have to worry about circuit-breaking a nail. - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fash and fab funny and showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

At least it's unmistakably an apple computer. - Matty Malaprop