I've never been able to keep up with him at the club. It's always just hotter than Hades in there, which makes it so hard to dance for long periods of time without feeling like grossness personified! - Matty Malaprop

Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!

Cannot unsee. Can perhaps undersea, but certainly cannot unsee. - Matty Malaprop

If I'm going to be incessantly eyed by some cyclopean fiend, he might as well at least taste of delicious chamomile! - Matty Malaprop

Pluto's but a simple dog, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. HOW DARE YOU BRING HIM DOWN LIKE THAT? - Matty Malaprop

Fighting internet unfunniness crime, one shoop at a time. - Matty Malaprop

All's fair in love, chess and a dystopian, extraterrestrial-ridden nightmare land. - Matty Malaprop

... but just because you can finally play locally doesn't mean you should stop writing angry Screwtape Letters to your Narnian ISPs! - Matty Malaprop